It's sad but true. Even the ultra-evil get the blues once in a while.
"Jeez, Goebbels, doing all this terrible stuff day in and day out is making me a little depressed," Hitler admitted to his partner-in-heinousness.
"Hitlerrrr, have you been skipping your meth injections again?"
"No," he sulked.
"Ah, cheer up, dawg. What you need is a ROAD TRIP!"
"But to where, mein homeboy?"
"Two words, baby. PETTING ZOO!"
Good old Goebbels. He could cheer up the rottenest of tyrants. So off they goose-stepped to the Riesiges Arschloch Nazi Petting Zoo.
"Seeing so many good white Aryan animals is starving mein belly, Goebbels."
"Try this, Hitler."
"What is it?"
"It's a Skittle. They are from America."
"Scheiße, Goebbels! There are no white ones!" Hitler was soooo mad right now.
So he beat Goebbels real good with his murder-whistle, consequently breaking it to bits.
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Monday morning Alice lay on the couch in front of the tv, she was pretending to be sick to stay away from school, bit of homework to hand in, that wasn't going to happen. Like a broken whistle without a purpose she lay around the house, home alone, with nothing to do. She flicked on the tv and began to watch a History programme on the Nazis, drowsiness soon set in.
Alice imagined walking up through long damp grass on a hillside, she realised she was in her bare feet, 'how strange' she thought . Then she heard the sound of a car approaching below her on the hill, she looked out from where she had came and saw a beautiful vista the sky a perfect blue and an expansive forest of conifers in a valley below shrouded in mist. The car was coming closer a convertible, traveling very fast , an old looking car, as it got closer and closer she noticed that it had little flags sticking out at angles from the cars bonnet, it stopped not very far away. Then she saw a man get out, it was him, Hitler, he was screaming profanities at her.
She woke up and knocked a big bowl of skittles off the coffee table. She began to clear up the mess, then she heard his voice again, she turned off the tv, 'scary dream' she said out loud to herself. She was going to forget her pretense and go out, maybe go down to see her adopted lamb at the petting zoo.
They looked the colour of skittles, Carl thought, he took only one, he did not know what they would do, he had to take his girlfriend to the petting zoo, but there was a two hour bus journey ahead of them.
As soon as he got on the Bus, he felt a surge as it took effect, the whine of his breathing became more audible, a sound like a broken whistle. Then a man got on the bus, Carl had a moment of realisation, 'that man' he said to his girlfriend, 'that's f***ing Hitler', 'lets get off this bus' but his girlfriend refused. The moment would pass for Carl, Hitler would ride all the way to the petting zoo with them.
Faustiank, little long the first go round, but the second was right in there! Very creative, man. You take the cerebral route, I'll go for the cheap laugh. Thanks for posting!
Hi stranger, I like the concept. Keep up the writing :)
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